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Example ASE Curricula

Adult Stakeholder Consultations

ASE-grounded professional consultation sessions for educators and families. Designed to create coherence between what students are learning in counseling and what they experience at school and at home.

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For Educators
2 consultation sessions
Co-regulation as pedagogy · Understanding student governors
For Families & Caregivers
2 consultation sessions
Home as a governor · Relational presence and communication

Adult Stakeholder Consultations

These sessions are designed for school counselors to deliver directly to the teachers and families whose daily environments shape student outcomes. They are structured as collegial professional consultations grounded in ASE theory and designed to create coherence between what students are learning in counseling and what they are experiencing at school and at home.

For Educators

Educator Consultation · 45 min
Your Regulated Presence: Co-regulation as Pedagogy
How the teacher's nervous system state shapes the classroom learning environment, and how to use this intentionally
Consultant Primer

Research on interpersonal neurobiology is unambiguous: nervous systems are contagious. When a teacher moves through a classroom in a state of chronic stress or low-grade urgency, students' physiological systems register this, often before any word is spoken. Conversely, a teacher who can access genuine calm, whose voice pace, movement, and spatial presence communicate safety, becomes a co-regulatory resource that literally shapes the capacity of students to think, risk, and connect.

This consultation does not frame self-regulation as a wellness bonus. It frames it as a core instructional competency. The goal is to help the teacher understand their own nervous system as pedagogical infrastructure, and to develop practical, classroom-embedded strategies for using their regulated presence as an active learning condition, a modifiable governor of student emergence.

Goals: The Educator Will
  • Understand how their own physiological state functions as a classroom governor that shapes student capacity for learning, connection, and emotional regulation.
  • Identify two or three moments in their daily practice when their regulated or dysregulated presence most directly affects student climate.
  • Practice at least two brief, classroom-embedded self-regulation strategies they can implement without disrupting instructional flow.
  • Recognize co-regulation as a pedagogical practice: something they do intentionally with and for students, not just a wellness tool for themselves.
5C Integration
  • Curiosity: The teacher develops genuine curiosity about their own physiological state as professional data, information about what is being communicated to students rather than a source of shame.
  • Co-Regulation: The central practice of this consultation. Teachers learn that their regulated presence is not passive. It actively shapes the capacity of every nervous system in the room.
  • Connectedness: A regulated teacher is more available for genuine relational connection. This consultation surfaces how personal state shapes relational attunement.
  • Compassion: Teachers extend the same compassionate self-awareness to themselves that they are learning to extend to students.
  • Contribution: The teacher's regulated presence is framed as a contribution to the communal learning environment, a shared resource rather than a private virtue.
Consultation Outline
0:00–0:12
Opening: The Contagion We Don't Talk About
Open with a simple observation: "When you walk into a room and someone in it is visibly calm: what happens in your body? When someone is clearly anxious: what happens?" Brief reflection (2 min). Then: "That's not metaphor. That's nervous system biology. Students' physiological systems register your state before you say a single word. ASE theory calls the conditions that shape student wellbeing governors. I want to propose that your regulated presence is one of the most powerful governors in the room, and one of the only ones entirely within your influence." Invite the teacher to identify one moment in their day when their own state most visibly affects students.
0:12–0:28
Activity: Mapping Your Regulatory Landscape
The consultant invites the teacher to map a typical instructional day into three zones: (1) Moments of genuine regulated presence: the moments when they feel settled, available, and genuinely curious about students; (2) Moments of activation, when stress, frustration, or urgency narrow their attention and shift their body; (3) Transition points: moments between activities, between classes, or during interruptions when their state shifts most noticeably. Together, identify which zone most affects student climate. Then: the consultant introduces three classroom-embedded co-regulatory moves specific to the teacher's identified activation points: deliberate pacing (slowing voice and movement before a transition), neutral anchor phrase ("Let's take a breath before we shift"), and brief somatic reset (a moment the teacher creates for themselves, visible to students as a norm). Role-play at least one move together.
0:28–0:40
Application: Designing Your Co-Regulatory Signature
The teacher selects and names their "co-regulatory signature": the specific observable thing they will do when they notice themselves activating, that also signals calm to students. This could be a verbal phrase, a physical movement (sitting down rather than standing), a change in voice pace, or a brief naming: "I'm noticing I need a moment." The consultant frames this not as performance but as authentic co-regulatory leadership, modeling the same self-awareness being taught in student counseling groups. Together, identify one classroom moment in the coming week where the teacher will consciously deploy their signature and notice what it produces.
0:40–0:45
Closing: The Pedagogy Behind the Practice
Name the frame explicitly: "What we just worked on is not about you feeling better, though I hope it helps with that too. It's about you deliberately using your nervous system as a teaching tool. When you are regulated, you make learning biologically possible for students who might not be able to access it otherwise." Offer a brief follow-up check-in in 2 weeks. Ask: "What would it change in how you see your role, if you thought of your regulated presence as one of the core instructional things you bring?"
Example ASE-Informed Counselor Language
  • Curiosity: "I'm curious: in that activation moment you described, what do you notice in your body first? What's the earliest signal? That signal is data, and getting earlier access to it is what this whole practice is about."
  • Co-Regulation: "When you slow down in the middle of a transition, even for 10 seconds: you're not losing instructional time. You're creating the neurobiological conditions for learning to actually be possible. That's the most instructional 10 seconds in the period."
  • Compassion: "What you're describing, the activation, the moments it spills into how you respond to students: that's not a flaw. That's a nervous system doing exactly what it's designed to do in a high-demand environment. Our job is to give you more access to the override."
  • Contribution: "Every time you model a co-regulatory move in front of your students, naming that you need a breath, slowing your pace on purpose. You are teaching self-regulation more powerfully than any lesson about it could. You are the curriculum."
Social Justice Note

Students from marginalized and historically excluded communities often carry a heightened physiological vigilance that is a reasonable adaptive response to real environmental stressors, not a deficit. A teacher's regulated presence is not neutral for these students; it is one of the few school-based experiences that can counter-condition the hypervigilance that chronic stress produces. When the consultant frames teacher self-regulation as an equity practice rather than just a wellness practice; it shifts the stakes from the teacher's comfort to students' access to learning.

Educator Consultation · 45 min
The Student You Don't Yet Know: Releasing Fixed Stories
How teacher perception shapes student possibility, and how to hold a student with a loosely-held story
Consultant Primer

ASE theory holds that who a student is is never fixed. Who they are is always emerging from the ongoing interchange between the student and their environments. This has a direct and underexamined implication for teachers: the story a teacher carries about a student ("they're lazy," "they're capable when they want to be," "they're a behavior problem"): that story is itself a governor. It shapes what questions the teacher asks, what behaviors they notice, how they respond to small moments, and what possibilities they hold open for the student.

This consultation applies ASE's concept of the loosely held self to professional perception: it invites teachers to notice the stories they carry about specific students, to examine where those stories came from and what they foreclose, and to practice holding students with genuine curiosity rather than settled narratives. It is not about erasing what teachers know. It is about practicing the professional suppleness that allows new data from students to actually land and change something.

Goals: The Educator Will
  • Identify at least one student about whom they carry a settled narrative, and examine where that narrative came from and what it might be foreclosing.
  • Understand how teacher perception functions as an environmental governor that shapes what students believe is possible for them in that classroom.
  • Practice one concrete observational shift: a change in what they notice, what they ask, or how they respond, creating room for a different story to emerge.
  • Connect the loosely held self concept to their professional identity: holding what they know about a student lightly enough to let new data actually change something.
5C Integration
  • Curiosity: The core practice. Teachers shift from explaining student behavior (I already know why they do this) to wondering about it (I am genuinely curious what is shaping this).
  • Connectedness: A settled negative story about a student creates relational distance. Loosening that story creates the conditions for genuine relational reconnection.
  • Co-Regulation: When a teacher's perception of a student shifts, the student often registers the change physiologically before anything is said. Perception is communicated non-verbally.
  • Compassion: The consultation cultivates compassion both for the student (understanding what produced the behavior the teacher finds challenging) and for the teacher (understanding what produced the story they carry).
  • Contribution: When a teacher sees a student as always-emerging rather than already-decided, they communicate that the student's contribution to the classroom is still possible and still wanted.
Consultation Outline
0:00–0:10
Opening: What Story Are You Carrying?
Open with a genuine invitation, not an accusation: "I want to ask you something that is both simple and uncomfortably honest. When you think of the students in your class who are hardest to reach: is there a story you carry about why? 'They don't care.' 'Their home situation makes it impossible.' 'They've decided I'm the enemy.' I'm not asking you to abandon what you know. I'm asking: how certain is that story? How much of it is settled?" Allow the teacher to name a specific student (by first name only, for confidentiality in the consultation record). Then: "Where did that story come from? What would it take to loosen it, not abandon it, but hold it less tightly?"
0:10–0:28
Activity: The Combination Behind the Behavior
The consultant guides the teacher through an ASE-informed re-reading of the student: "ASE theory holds that who this student is, including every behavior you find challenging, is emerging from a specific combination of relational, cultural, and circumstantial forces. Some of those you know about. Many you don't. I want us to wonder together about what combination might be producing what you're seeing." Together, brainstorm, genuinely and without judgment, what forces might be shaping the student's behavior: relational forces (who they live with, who they trust, who has hurt them), cultural forces (what their community communicates about school, teachers, authority), and circumstantial forces (what is happening right now: in their body, their home, their social world). Notice together what the teacher's story does and doesn't account for. Then: identify one thing the teacher doesn't yet know about this student, something genuinely unknown, and make it the subject of a curiosity question for the following week.
0:28–0:40
Practice: One Noticing Shift
The teacher identifies one specific observational change to make in the coming week: not what they will say or do differently, but what they will notice differently. Options include: noticing the moment when the student is most engaged (however briefly), noticing what conditions are present in those moments, noticing the student doing something competent that the settled story might have been filtering out. The consultant frames this as scientific method applied to a person: "You are testing a hypothesis. The hypothesis is: this student is more than the story I've been carrying." Together, design a simple observation protocol: one specific moment per day when the teacher commits to looking for something the story isn't expecting to see.
0:40–0:45
Closing: The Student Is Always Emerging
Close with the ASE frame explicitly: "ASE theory holds that who a student is is never finished. Students are always emerging from everything that surrounds them. That includes you. The story you carry about them is part of their environment. When you loosen it, when you become genuinely curious rather than already decided: you change the conditions of their emergence. That's not small. It's one of the most powerful things a teacher can do." Offer a 2-week follow-up to hear what the observation shift produced.
Example ASE-Informed Counselor Language
  • Curiosity: "I'm not asking you to stop knowing what you know about this student. I'm asking you to hold that knowledge lightly enough that if something unexpected appears, something that doesn't fit the story: you actually see it."
  • Connectedness: "When you walk into a room genuinely curious about a student — rather than already knowing who they are: they can feel the difference. Perception is communicated without words. That shift in how you see them is itself a relational intervention."
  • Compassion: "The story you carry didn't come from nowhere. You developed it because this student has given you real data. I'm not asking you to dismiss that. I'm asking whether the story might be complete enough to be useful but not yet complete enough to be fully true."
  • Contribution: "When you hold this student as still-emerging, still capable of surprising you — you are communicating something to them that the settled story cannot: that you are still expecting something from them. That expectation is a gift."
Social Justice Note

Research on teacher expectation effects (Rosenthal & Jacobson; and a robust replication literature) demonstrates that teacher beliefs about student capacity shape student outcomes measurably and longitudinally. These effects are not randomly distributed: students from Black, Brown, Indigenous, and economically marginalized communities are more likely to be the subjects of settled negative stories, and those stories more likely to foreclose academic and relational possibility. This consultation is equity work. The school counselor should name that explicitly when appropriate: "What you carry about this student: it's worth asking whether you'd carry the same story about a student from a different background."

For Families & Caregivers

Family Consultation · 45 min
Your Home Has Governors: Designing an Environment Where Your Child Can Thrive
Understanding how the conditions of home life expand or constrain your child's wellbeing, and how to shift them intentionally
Consultant Primer

ASE theory holds that who a child is: their emotional state, their academic engagement, their social behavior, their sense of self: all of it is always emerging from the conditions that surround them. These conditions are what ASE theory calls governors: relational, cultural, and circumstantial forces that either expand or constrain what is possible for a student at any given moment. The home environment is one of the most powerful governor systems in a child's life. Its relational quality (how people speak to each other, how conflict is handled, how connection is made), its physical conditions (noise, space, stability), and its cultural and temporal rhythms all shape who the child is becoming.

This consultation does not begin from deficit. It begins from the recognition that every family is already creating conditions that shape their child, and most families want those conditions to be as supportive as possible. The school counselor's role here is to help the caregiver see their home as an environment they are actively designing, and to identify one or two specific, achievable modifications that could shift a governor that is currently constraining their child's wellbeing.

Goals: The Caregiver Will
  • Understand the concept of environmental governors and recognize how conditions in the home expand or constrain their child's capacity for learning, connection, and emotional regulation.
  • Map two or three specific home conditions that are currently functioning as governors, both supporting and limiting, for their child.
  • Identify one concrete, realistic modification to a home governor that they are willing to try in the coming two weeks.
  • Connect their own wellbeing to their child's: recognize that the caregiver's regulated presence is itself one of the most powerful governors in the home.
5C Integration
  • Curiosity: Caregivers develop curiosity about their home as an environment, noticing what conditions shape their child's states without blame or self-criticism.
  • Connectedness: The relational quality of home, how connected and seen the child feels — is surfaced as a primary governor worth examining and tending.
  • Co-Regulation: The caregiver's own regulated or dysregulated presence is named as the home's most significant governor, one that cannot be outsourced or delegated.
  • Compassion: Caregivers extend compassion to themselves: they did not design their home's governors consciously, and they have real constraints on what they can change. Small shifts matter.
  • Contribution: The caregiver is positioned as an essential contributor to their child's developmental trajectory, not peripheral to school counseling work but central to it.
Consultation Outline
0:00–0:10
Opening: What's Shaping Your Child Right Now?
Open with genuine appreciation: "Before we talk about anything, I want to say: the fact that you're here — that you made time for this conversation — is itself something your child benefits from. I want to start by hearing from you. When you think about your child at home: what conditions seem to help them? What conditions seem to make things harder?" Listen carefully, with genuine curiosity, before introducing any framework. Reflect back what you hear: "So it sounds like [X] seems to help them settle, and [Y] seems to make things harder for everyone. I want to give you a way of thinking about those conditions that I think will be useful." Introduce the concept of governors, conditions that either expand or constrain, in plain language, without jargon.
0:10–0:28
Activity: Mapping the Home's Governors
Guide the caregiver through a brief mapping of their home environment across three governor domains. Relational governors: "How does your child experience being seen and heard at home? Are there moments when they feel genuinely connected to someone? Are there patterns of conflict or tension that reliably affect their state?" Circumstantial governors: "What are the physical conditions — space, noise, sleep, meals, transitions, routines — that you notice most affecting your child? Which ones do you have some control over?" Cultural governors: "What does your home communicate, implicitly, about feelings — about whether it's safe to be sad, or anxious, or angry? What messages does your child receive about what it means to struggle?" After mapping, identify together: one governor that is already working well and worth protecting; one governor that both the caregiver and counselor agree is constraining their child; and one small, realistic modification the caregiver could make to that governor in the next two weeks.
0:28–0:38
The Caregiver as Governor
Introduce gently: "I want to name something that can feel uncomfortable but that I think is actually good news. Of all the governors in your home, the most powerful one is you. Your state — whether you're settled or activated, connected or preoccupied: your child reads this constantly and responds to. This isn't blame. You cannot be regulated all the time; no one can. But it does mean that anything that helps you access more calm, more connection, more genuine presence is directly felt by your child." Invite the caregiver to reflect: "What helps you regulate? What depletes you? What would need to be different for you to have a little more access to your own settled presence at home?" This is not a therapy question — it's a collaborative environmental design question. Receive whatever the caregiver offers without expanding into territory they haven't opened.
0:38–0:45
Closing: Small Shifts, Real Effects
Name the plan explicitly: "We've identified [specific governor modification]. That is the one thing I'm asking you to try — not because you need to do more, but because it's the one shift that I think will most directly affect your child's experience right now." Validate the real constraints caregivers face: "I also know that you don't have unlimited control over your environment or your energy. What we're working on here is a very small, very targeted shift, not a transformation." Offer a follow-up in 3–4 weeks. Close: "What you do at home: the environment you create — is one of the most powerful things in your child's life. That's not pressure. It's a recognition of how much you already matter."
Example ASE-Informed Counselor Language
  • Curiosity: "You mentioned that mornings are particularly hard. I'm curious — what is happening in the morning that's different from the evenings when things go more smoothly? What conditions are different? Let's map that together."
  • Connectedness: "One of the most powerful governors in your home — and one you have direct control over: whether your child feels genuinely seen by you each day. Not supervised. Not evaluated. Seen. Even five minutes of genuine, undivided attention can shift the entire tone of a day for a child."
  • Co-Regulation: "When you're activated — stressed, preoccupied, stretched — your child feels that, even when you're doing your best to hide it. This isn't about being perfect. It's about knowing that your own wellbeing is not separate from theirs. Taking care of yourself is taking care of them."
  • Compassion: "I want to name something important: most of the governors in your home weren't designed. They emerged from your history, your resources, your own combination of experiences. You didn't choose them consciously, and many of them are genuinely hard to change. The one we're focusing on is one you actually have room to move."
Equity & Access Note

Home environments are not equally modifiable across families. Parents managing housing instability, food insecurity, shift work, or immigration precarity face real structural constraints on what governors they can change. This consultation should never communicate that a child's struggles are simply a product of insufficient parental effort. The counselor's role is to honor the constraints, name what is genuinely possible within them, and advocate at the system level for the structural changes that would actually expand what families can provide.

Family Consultation · 45 min
Curiosity Before Advice: Transforming How You Listen to Your Child
Shifting from fixing and advising to genuine wondering, and what that shift produces in your child
Consultant Primer

When a child brings something difficult to a caregiver — a social conflict, a feeling of failure, a fear they can't name — the most common and most natural parental response is to fix it. To offer a solution, reframe the situation, reassure the child that it's not that bad, or advise them on what to do next. These responses come from love. They also, reliably, communicate to the child that what they brought was a problem to be solved rather than an experience to be understood. Over time, children learn to stop bringing hard things. Not because they trust their parents less. Because they have learned that what they'll receive is a solution, not a witness.

This consultation invites caregivers to take up the practice of curiosity before advice: responding to a child's disclosure or distress with genuine wondering rather than immediate intervention. This is directly connected to what students are practicing in ASE counseling groups — the same loosely held self and wondering-question framework, which means when parents practice it at home, children experience a coherent message across the two most important environments in their lives: the counseling group and their home.

Goals: The Caregiver Will
  • Identify their default response pattern when their child brings something hard, and understand what that pattern communicates to the child about whether they are safe to bring more.
  • Understand the difference between fixing, validating, and genuine wondering — and why genuine wondering is often the most regulating response.
  • Practice at least two genuine wondering questions they can use in response to a child's disclosure, using the same framework their child is learning in counseling groups.
  • Experience, through role-play, what it feels like to be genuinely wondered about rather than advised, and to connect that felt experience to their child's perspective.
5C Integration
  • Curiosity: The entire consultation develops curiosity as a relational posture, and the specific moves that communicate genuine wondering to a child.
  • Connectedness: Children who experience genuine curiosity from a caregiver — whose inner experience is wondered about rather than fixed — build deeper and more durable connection with that caregiver.
  • Co-Regulation: Genuine wondering is co-regulatory. When a child's nervous system registers that their experience is receivable, physiological activation itself decreases.
  • Compassion: Caregivers develop compassion for the impulse to fix. It comes from love, not failure — and also for the child's experience of receiving solutions when they needed witnessing.
  • Contribution: When a caregiver wonders genuinely rather than advises immediately, they communicate that the child's inner experience is worth attending to — a contribution to the child's sense of their own significance.
Consultation Outline
0:00–0:10
Opening: What Do You Do When They Bring Something Hard?
Open with a scenario: "Imagine your child comes home and says 'I don't have any friends.' What do you say first?" Let the caregiver respond genuinely. Then ask: "What were you trying to give them with that response?" Almost always: reassurance, information, a solution. Then: "What do you think they were hoping to receive?" Let this question land quietly. "Most of the time, children bring hard things to us hoping to be understood — not fixed. I want to share something I've learned about the difference between those two responses, and why it matters for how much your child brings to you over time."
0:10–0:25
The Three Responses, and Why Wondering Works
Walk the caregiver through three response types, using the same scenario: Fixing: "You have lots of friends. Have you tried talking to [name]?" — This solves a problem the child may not have been presenting. Validating: "That sounds hard. I'm sorry you're going through that." — This is warmer, but still stays outside the child's inner experience. Genuine wondering: "I wonder what 'no friends' feels like for you right now. Tell me more about what that's like." — This enters the child's experience with curiosity rather than management. Then: brief role-play. The counselor plays the child; the caregiver practices responding to three disclosures with a genuine wondering question. Debrief: "Which was hardest? What pulled you toward fixing? What did it feel like to wonder instead of solve?"
0:25–0:38
Practice: Building Your Wondering Vocabulary
Share that the children in counseling groups are practicing exactly this skill — bringing their genuine beliefs and receiving others' wondering rather than correction. "When you practice this at home, your child is experiencing the same thing from the two most important environments in their life — counseling group and home. That coherence matters." Together, generate 4–5 genuine wondering questions the caregiver can actually remember and use. Examples to build from: "Tell me more about that." / "What does that feel like from the inside?" / "What part of that is hardest right now?" / "What do you wish I knew about this that I haven't asked yet?" / "What would help most — for me to just listen, or to share what I think?" The last question is especially important: it gives the child agency over what kind of response they receive, which itself is a co-regulatory move.
0:38–0:45
Closing: What Opens When You Wonder
Close with a reframe: "Fixing is one kind of love. Witnessing is another. What we're working on is not replacing one with the other — it's making sure your child experiences both. Right now, most children get more fixing than witnessing. Shifting that balance, even a little and even inconsistently, will change what your child brings to you." Share one concrete commitment: "In the next week, try to catch one moment when you feel the pull to fix — and ask a wondering question instead. That's it. One moment. Notice what happens." Offer a follow-up. Close: "Your curiosity is one of the most powerful things you can give your child. It says: you are interesting to me. You are worth understanding. I am not going anywhere while you figure this out."
Example ASE-Informed Counselor Language
  • Curiosity: "The 'I wonder' question does something very specific: it communicates to your child that their inner experience is interesting to you — not a problem to solve, but something worth understanding. That feeling — of being genuinely interesting to your parent — is one of the most protective experiences a child can have."
  • Connectedness: "When a child learns that bringing something hard to their parent produces genuine curiosity rather than solutions or dismissal, they bring more. That is the foundation of the kind of relationship where they will also bring the things that really matter — the things you most need to know about."
  • Co-Regulation: "When you slow down and wonder instead of fix, your own nervous system slows too. The wondering posture is itself a co-regulatory move for both of you. You are not just giving your child something — you are both entering a calmer, more connected state together."
  • Compassion: "The impulse to fix comes from love. It is not wrong. But your child needs to know that you can handle what they bring — that it won't overwhelm you, that you won't immediately try to make it go away. Wondering communicates: I can be with this. I am not afraid of what you feel."
Cultural Humility Note

Communication patterns within families are deeply shaped by cultural context. In some families and cultural traditions, advice-giving and direct problem-solving is the expression of care — and the expectation of "wondering" as a response style may feel foreign or even cold. The school counselor should present this practice as one additional tool, not a replacement for the family's existing communication culture. Ask: "How does your family usually talk about hard things? What works well about that? I'm wondering if there are moments in that pattern where a wondering question might fit naturally." Start from the family's existing strengths, not from a model of ideal communication that assumes a particular cultural context.